Embrace Imperfection: How Radical Self-Acceptance Can Free You from Perfectionism

Woman leading a workshop on Learning to Love yourself, at the Female Founders Summit 2024

Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be able to do it all? And to do it all perfectly? Do you tell yourself that if you don’t do it, it won’t get done?

Despite progressing in your career and receiving positive feedback, it never feels enough, you can never quite believe and accept it. 

So you keep setting goal after goal, in your personal and professional life and either fall into procrastination, holding yourself back from really going for it, because you don’t feel ready. Or you go for it! And maybe even achieve what you set out to achieve, but can’t quite celebrate or appreciate the achievement. The reason being that underneath, you still never quite feel enough.

Perfectionism can start to take you down a merry path of motivation, perseverance and drive…but quickly leads you onto the road to self-judgement, overwhelm, fear of failure, stress and burn out.

Radical self acceptance can step in as the superhero to this story. 

Acceptance isn’t about settling or shying away from goals and achievements. Instead it’s actually appreciating and acknowledging yourself along your path which can lead to deeper self worth, increased confidence and letting go of the need to be perfect all the time.

Acceptance allows you to be all the parts of you, without resistance or judgement. It’s through this you can recognise your strengths and belief that you can try and succeed without the pressure to be or do it all.

Here are 3 beautiful and radical ways to start accepting yourself today:

Empowering self talk

What are you telling yourself right now? Is it helpful? Would you say the same to someone else? The chances are the answer is no. We are all harder on ourselves than anyone else. What you are telling yourself, becomes your truth and shapes the way you see the world. By becoming aware of your self-talk you can reframe it. Ask yourself; ‘What would you say if you were cheering yourself on?’ And what evidence do you have to support that positive self-talk. The more you do this, the easier it will become to reframe your unhelpful self-talk with empowering self-talk.

Reframe mistakes and rejection

Oof! This was a tough one for me. If you’ve learned that mistakes are bad or shameful and rejection is personal, this can feel like an impossible task to reframe. Remember though that your thoughts and beliefs are learned, which means you can learn something different. Start with reflecting on past ‘mistakes’ and write down all the lessons and strengths you learned through those experiences. You can use this step anytime in the future you feel you’ve made a ‘mistake.’ Can you think of a time when you were ‘rejected’ and something even better happened? If not, again reflect on what you learned. For more on this check out the amazing 4Rs for rejection shared by Jamie Kern Lima.

Celebrate messy action

When you focus on needing to be ready, or perfect before you start, procrastination can affect even the most confident people. Before you know it, fear takes hold, it’s been weeks and you’ve talked yourself out of it. Instead of waiting to feel ready (because the truth is, you never fully do!) or needing the steps to be perfect, just start. Ask yourself; ‘What is one step I could take today?’ ‘What information do I already have that could support me?’Take that first step, and the most important part, celebrate yourself for taking the step. Don’t wait until the desired outcome, celebrate yourself for taking the action. This will help with knowing it’s ok to start without having all the answers. This will help build inner belief and celebrating will help with momentum to keep going. You can keep track using my Self Belief Journal 

Which of these 3 will you try first? I know the temptation can be to do all three, but letting go of that pressure and dedicating your energy to one you will be able to embrace it fully and start embodying self-acceptance every day through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

There is no such thing as perfection. We all bring our own uniqueness to the table and the more you can accept and acknowledge that, the more your confidence and self worth will grow, and you will let go of the need to be anything other than who you truly are.

For more guidance on loving and accepting yourself to health, happiness and success, I would love to join the Self Love Club, my fortnightly newsletter with rituals, tips and insights to living a more compassionate and fulfilling life.