Maintaining Balance and minimising the overwhelm
We all feel overwhelmed sometimes. As a recovering perfectionist, overwhelm was once a semi-permanent badge of honour state. I thought that was what life was! To be successful you needed to be busy, all the time. If you weren’t burning the candle at both ends, surely you wouldn’t get anywhere!
This high pressure, low reward lifestyle led to regular burn outs, or freak outs. This led to only further pressure because my belief was I just wasn’t doing enough and if I did more or worked quicker, I would be good enough to get it all done.
This was of course a vicious circle eventually leading to immense pressure and self-sabotage and low self esteem. I was always chasing that impossible perfection without time to stop and realise that firstly perfect doesn’t exist and secondly, nobody can operate at that speed and pressure without release.
It’s taken a long time and inner work to give myself permission to slow down and realise that I needed to slow down. The magic that happened over time is that I realised in doing so, nothing catastrophic happened. The world didn’t stop spinning! My nearest and dearest still loved me! And guess what, I could actually be more successful!
Slowing down has actually been proven to lead to greater success . Top companies are now following this, seeing better results, as well as happier and healthier employees. Reading all the articles to support this could not make a difference for me. I was working against years of old habits, conditioning and beliefs that had me convinced that if I just sped up, I could do it all!
The change came when I made a commitment to change. I needed to change my habits, my actions, my behaviour. This led to positive results and slowly my thoughts and beliefs caught up. But it is a constant commitment.
These are my regular practises and approaches that help me to keep balance in my life:
Meditation — This is part of my daily practice. It helps me in a number of ways but primarily to physically and mentally slow down. I include breathwork in my meditation which helps to ground me and create focus especially when my mind starts to race. It helps me reflect and learn and return to my true peaceful essence, the quiet inside.
Journaling — This is also a daily practice. I start each day with my list of 10 things I am grateful for and why I am grateful for those things. Practising gratitude is an incredible tool for creating perspective and raising your emotional vibration. Gratitude is the opposite of fear, guilt, shame etc. and so when focused on it can create happiness and a stronger mental resilience. I journal to reflect how I am feeling, to understand my thoughts and emotions. Often it helps to slow me down and clear the space. Tim Gallwey has a brilliant prompt I often use with racing thoughts; STOP: Step back, Think, Organise your thoughts, Proceed. This can really help to slow the speeding up and respond rather than react.
Exercise — This is a big factor for me and often I notice when the overwhelm is creeping in, realising that exercise has dropped off. It’s a big destress tool and helps to bring me into the present moment. It doesn’t have to be intense, a walk, some yoga, even a kitchen disco! Anything to get the body moving and shaking off that tension.
Sleep — This became a very tricky one for me after my son was born. It is now a major trigger that if I don’t get enough sleep, my mind races, the overwhelm kicks in and everything speeds up. I now know that is the warning light on my dash board to take better care of myself.
Boundaries — As well as a perfectionist I was also a people pleaser. Double bonus! Which means that I have to work hard at my boundaries. I have had to learn to say no and to protect my energy and environment. It is still a work in progress! I can easily take on a lot emotionally and physically. I have realised over time, I cannot help anyone if I have burnt out. I can’t keep giving when I have stretched myself too thin. I can’t pour from an empty cup.
Cold showers — Wim Hof knows! I have a cold shower every morning. It wakes up my whole body and sends the endorphins rushing. But for me, it is the mental benefits. It helps with that ‘fight or flight’ our body goes into when we feel stressed or panicked. By allowing my body to feel that cold water each day, it’s getting used to the stress. I learn to breath through the stress and not let it overwhelm me.
None of these are magic cures. Some might resonate some may not. I still become overwhelmed, I still feel stress like everyone else. But now I have learned to slow down to lessen the overwhelm quicker. Not only do I move through the tension easier, I actually find I am allowing myself to slow down to then get back in the game quicker. I’m slowing down, to speed up. But now with a focus on gentle kindness, compassion and self love. I now realise that is the real key to success, to always be looking after myself.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope you’ve found this interesting. For more guidance on loving and accepting yourself to health, happiness and success, I would love to join the Self Love Club, my fortnightly newsletter with rituals, tips and insights to living a more compassionate and fulfilling life.
